Have You Ever Been This Tired....

These pictures were sent to me through email by a good friend, Tracy and Chuck from the old neighborhood where we used to lived which is just less than ten minutes away from the apartment where we live.

...that you fell asleep on top of your shoes,

using the bathroom,

eating and...

even while playing? Don't they look funny?

How Fights Starts Between Husband and Wife?

This are the lists of some situations showing how fights start between husband and wife...

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping
channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'dust.'

And then the fight started...

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0
to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she
sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took
to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I
hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'Oh, my gosh!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took
my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

A woman is looking at herself in the mirror. She is
not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I
told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.

and then the fight started.....

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

Got A Sense of Humor?

A friend of ours sent an email with this, it made me laugh! Thanks, Chuck and Tracy for sharing this :-)!

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge
than to let him keep her.
~ David Bissonette ~

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a
coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
~ Sacha Guitry ~

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
~Socrates~

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
~Anonymous~

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?'
~Dumas~

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraph with me.
~Sigmund Freud~

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
~Anonymous~

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
~Sam Kinison~

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.
~James Holt McGavra~

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming.
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it.
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
~Patrick Murra~

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
~Nash~

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
~Anonymous~

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
~Henny Youngman~

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
~Rodney Dangerfield~

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:

"Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
~Anonymous~

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
~ Anonymous ~