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Monday, February 2, 2009

8 Ways to Be a Better Parent

I myself is having a hard time being better parent to my son. I am still trying my best. Read books about parenting through internet and magazines and internet and found this one at American Bay Magazines. I thought you guys might want to try these tips if you haven't done yet :-)!

1. Avoid Comparisons and Labels. You want to be the kind of parent who takes the time to instill in your child good manners, habits, and behavior. But how? And with controlled chaos ruling the day, every day, when? Relax: Good parenting happens in real time, on the spot, and in the moment. The trick is recognizing those moments when your actions and reactions can help your child learn and grow in the best possible ways. Here's help from top parenting experts -- and a few real moms.

2. Walk the Talk. Kids watch your every move, and, especially for babies and very young children, parental behavior proves to be far more powerful than words. "You are actually teaching your baby something every minute of the day -- whether you intend to pass along a lesson or not," says Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Discipline Solution: Gentle Ways to Encourage Good Behavior Without Whining, Tantrums & Tears (McGraw-Hill). "From how you handle stress to how you celebrate success to how you greet a neighbor on the street, your baby is observing you and finding out how to respond in various situations."

3. Let Your Child Make Mistakes. Your 2-year-old is building a tower, and you see that the block he's about to place on top will cause it to come crashing down. Anxious to avoid the crash (and ensuing tears), you stop him from adding the block, explaining that sometimes "one more is one too many." While you're right to prevent accidents that could cause harm, allowing your child to learn from his errors instills the lesson at hand better than an explanation ever could, says Christopher Lucas, MD, an associate professor of child and adolescent psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine, in New York City.

4. Do Nothing. In fact, let your kids be bored, says psychologist Michael Gurian, author of Nurture the Nature: Understanding and Supporting Your Child's Unique Core Personality (Jossey-Bass). "Their identities emerge when they are left to their own devices. They pick up a pencil and draw or go out in the backyard. They follow their own dreams and thoughts. The activity will be self-directed and will foster self-direction," says Gurian, who adds that this holds true for even young toddlers -- although they will need both supervision and a little support, especially if they tend to fuss and quarrel when they're their own. Set out tools and toys to tempt them: art supplies or a big cardboard box for making a house, for instance.

5. Reconsider Your Use of Food to Comfort or Praise. Even the youngest baby will start to equate comfort with consuming if the bottle is always offered to quiet crying. So will the toddler who is habitually given apple juice after a fall or a cookie for good behavior, says Dr. Karp, who adds that what a child seeks -- and what is important to give -- is your attention, pure and simple.

6. Look Behind "Bad" Behavior. At some point your child will break every rule you make. But if you react to each infraction with the same show of disapproval -- Mommy's mad; he's in the time-out chair -- he may not reach an understanding of what prompted the rule-breaking behavior in the first place.

7. Trust Your Gut. Your intentions are good. In an effort to make the best choices for your child, you read up on how to impose just the right nap schedule, adhere to the appropriate amount of television viewing, and calibrate the best nutritional balance of protein, fats, and carbs. Trying to get it all right can be exhausting, and you're sometimes plagued with guilt that you haven't lived up to these standards. Sound familiar? The truth is, there are a lot of experts out there -- and far too much advice, some of it conflicting. "No one knows your child better than you do," says Gurian, who encourages parents to trust their own instincts.

8. Be Ready to Embrace Change. A baby who once loved an activity now rejects it. Parents can be quick to assume that something's wrong when, in fact, it may be that he's matured. While measuring your child's outward signs of growth in inches and on the scale, remember that he is making strides on the inside too -- emotionally and cognitively. The parents' role as their children evolve from infants to toddlers and beyond? To evolve right along with them.


Emmie said...

sound advice there :) x

Clarissa said...

Thanks for sharing,Ate Ces!!It's hard to be a parent and information like this is helpful.